Allow me to introduce myself:
I believe in the Big Ten. I find inconsistent weather patterns amusing. I enjoy dry humor and comedic understatement. I identify with Garrison Keillor. I’m attracted to rusted-out, abandoned factories and I think that the canoe is the single-most enjoyable method of transportation. I know with absolute certainty that the Green Bay Packers are the NFL’s greatest franchise, and proof of God’s interference in worldly affairs. I hate the Asian Carp with a burning passion, and consequently distrust Illinoisians and the rest of their southern ilk.
In short, I love the upper Midwest. From the Border Lakes of Minnesota to the dunes of the Michigan coast, from the beers of Wisconsin to the cherries of the Traverse Bay, from the Badgers to the Gophers to the Spartans (but certainly not the Wolverines), I am a man bound to the coordinates of North by Midwest.